CUSTOMS, CAMERAS AND COMIC RELIEF (Part Two)

March 9 Submission for BWL Short Story Blog

By Naguib Sami Kerba

From the me and my shadow portfolio

I generally have no idea what the parameters are for importing the various goods into Canada. I know they are based on the type of purchase, the cost of the goods, and the duration of time spent out of the country. That was even before the Tarrifs story. Now I have no clue whatsoever.

I have a NEXUS card and love its convenience, and I don’t want to risk losing it. I am also very aware that crossing the border and making a declaration are not trivial matters. Not only that, but I am not a good liar, so I know in advance that any declaration to the customs officer must be true. I don’t have it in me to tell a bald-faced lie to someone with power. If I lie, it’s simple; I will be caught in that lie.

While I have travelled a fair bit, I must admit I am a nervous Nellie at all checkpoints and try to be proactive. As a lawyer said to me in a relatively recent discovery session, “Naguib, you’re such a chatty Cathy”. I just want to make sure I cover the bases.

Buying kick ass photo gear in the USA

In this camera case is the new system I bought under pressure from my good friend and fellow photographer Dan Bodanis. Honest Donna, he made me buy it.

Over the last fifty years, I have bought camera equipment in the USA on several occasions. You need to know that photography is my one vice. I don’t think any of my other expenses are vices ;-) When I buy a new lens or camera body, I get the pro model. There’s no sense in buying an expensive camera and pairing it with a cheap lens. My lenses have been high-end pro models, priced from $1,800 to $3,500 Canadian. There are some lenses as high as $10,000 to $15,000, but even I have my limits. Although I want the $10,000 lens, I simply can not justify that.

As a result of the starting price, the savings can sometimes be substantial. A 10 or 20% difference is not chump change. On one occasion, I needed to buy a new camera body. It was over US$2,500, and I bought it from a professional camera store in Michigan just before we crossed the border. 

I don’t remember what the limit was at the time, but if memory serves, the camera was twice the personal limit for the duration. I also didn’t realize it wasn’t an aggregate total – in other words, if the limit was $1,500, Donna and I couldn’t buy a $3,000 item and declare it collectively. Live and learn.

As I was in the back seat, Chris and Donna have started doing, I generally went through customs in the back seat now that CHris is driving, because of racial profiling, and Chri being used to crossing the border more frequently because of his band. We found it meant fewer questions and, based on my history, fewer adventures. As we approached the booth, I was letting Chris in on how to reply if asked about the purchases. He would tell them we had bought $4,000 collectively. Great, the first question satisfied the official. The second question was what the single most expensive item was.

At that point, Chris wouldn’t have any of it. He opened the back door where I was sitting, said my dad was in the back, you ask him. When asked, I answered truthfully, a $2,500 camera.

Chris, later told me he didn’t want to lie. We were not lying. Aggregating two people’s amounts wasn’t allowed as I found out on that trip. I just remembered the panicked look on Chris’s face when he was asked the most dreaded question.

At that time, I once again gave the correct answer. The guard simply asked the right question right off the bat. He then allowed us in with no extra duty.

Bomb squad (almost) and the blue bag

The little blue bag, that almost met its demise at YYZ

My challenge is that my camera gear alone fills an entire case. I need two camera bodies, a wide-angle lens, a portrait lens, and a telephoto lens. I also need an iPad, an iPhone, chargers, and batteries. We both have an additional bag we can put under our feet. As a result, we do not travel light. Don’t forget, we each need a veritable pharmacy. Add to that paranoia about having cleansers and sterilizing pads for our seat on the plane and our surroundings. 

Our challenge as we’ve gotten older is that we must buy new luggage with wheels that work efficiently. I bought a new bag that we can take anywhere which also fits into the overhead compartment. Donna claimed it as hers. The bag was a light blue bag, rather nondescript, so much so that we’ve literally forgotten it was ours. Sometimes it is fatigue; other times it is too new to remember. 

The first time we took the bag out for a flight was unusual for us. I try to be a macho man and carry as many of Donna’s bags as possible. The week after we bought the bag, we were at Toronto’s hectic airport. We were harried more than anything else. At one point, Donna thought I was carrying the bag, and I thought she was. Everything was OK, as I was preoccupied primarily with my photo equipment. After we checked through the xrays and through the scanners and first or second level of security

Donna looked at me and says, “Where’s the blue bag?” I reply, “What blue bag?”

“You know, my bag”, she replied. “I asked, oh, the one you wouldn’t let me carry. I thought you had it”. “No, you had it”.

What now? Only one option, go back through all the checkpoints we just went through until we find it. I guess going back through on a one-way street is not an easy task when it is customs and checking in through transportation and safety checks. Needless to say, that was an adventure. Apparently, I needed an escort to backtrack. When I finally reached the bag, it had two security guards beside it clearing the area and speaking with someone else on their radios. We have no idea how close we came to having a bigger story to tell

Who are you having lunch with?” “I don’t know”.

Bob, in Mexican town lunch spot in Detroit

I have a network of colleagues across Canada and the USA through financial planning associations. My favourite one is the Nazrudin Project, a global think tank. I take every opportunity to call up and visit them to break bread, this is my favourite thing to do after taking pictures. One such friend lived in the Detroit area. I was planning to visit my friends Bob and Lynda Pope, who lived in Windsor, just across the river from Detroit. I took advantage of the visit and arranged for Bob to take me to Greektown, where we were to meet my friend for lunch and then go back to Windsor.

I had a van at the time with seats that folded into the floor, so it was basically empty. There was no need to carry anything across the river, so I left all my bags at Bob’s house. Bob did not know who I was meeting; all he knew was that he was the navigator for a trip to Greektown in exchange for a free lunch.

When Bob and I get together, I become Chatty Cathy. I should have known better, given my history with border crossings. The rest of this story had to be direct quotes; otherwise, you would not get the give-and-go. The Customs and Border Agent is quoted in BOLD; Bob and I, the passengers in the car, are in italics.

“Good morning. Where are you going?” “To Greektown for lunch with a friend”. I replied.

How long are you going there for? I said, “Just for lunch”.

Where do you live? “Mississauga”

You are going to Detroit just for lunch? The CBP agent was incredulous. “Yes”.

“Who are you having lunch?” Speaking to Bob now, without realizing that he was not speaking with me, I replied, “We’re having lunch with a friend. (Believe it or not, I can’t remember his name now, as that was fifteen years ago)”

“I didn’t ask you, I decide who answers”. “OK”.

“Who are you having lunch with?” I don’t know

“What? Are you having lunch in Detroit with someone you don’t know?” Bob replied, “Yes, we’re going to Greektown for lunch. And yes, I don’t know him.”

How does this make sense? “It's his friend,” Bob answered. “May I explain?” “Okay, go ahead.”“I am a member of an association of financial planners called Nazrudin, one of whom lives in Detroit. I was going to be in Windsor, too close to not have lunch with a friend in Detroit. I called him. He suggested a restaurant in Greektown. I am not familiar with Detroit, so I asked my friend, Bob, who has been to this area numerous times. He is my navigator. I am buying him lunch as well”.

“Are you selling anything?” “No”

“You are not selling anything?” “No, sir, neither selling nor buying anything but lunch.”

“Please open the trunk and give me your key.” “Thinking he wanted the key to open the trunk, I told him '“I unlocked it”.

“Please give me the key”. “I already opened it,” He told me, “Hand me the key.”

He opens the door. “There’s nothing here”. “I know. I didn’t need a hassle at the border crossing for my cameras and other stuff.” He slams the door and almost throws my keys back through the window. “Go on.”

In all fairness, I never thought that he would be worrying about safety, and that’s why he asked for the keys. At some point, I will learn to simply answer the question and speak when I am spoken to

 New Brunswick making the wrong turn

Inocuous border crossing, New Bruswick to Maine

One of the things most people don’t realize is how our border used to work between Canada and the US. It truly has been a friendly easy crossing because of the shear number of people that cross the border each day.  IN some places, the border divides towns and villages. 

One such crossing is between Eddmonston New Brunswick and Madawaska Maine. We were driving to Nova Scotia and satyed in Edmonston. No morning can start without Donna getting her McD’s Coffee, I was in a hurry to get going as the gang was slow getting going that day. I am an anxious traveler, I love to get a lot of road under my belt fairly early so we can feel like we are getting some place.

In our hurry I made a right turn thinking I can take a short cut to the restaurant, instead I ended up on the road to the bridge heading to Madawaska. I made a quick decision and made a second leftand ended up behind the Canadian border crossing kiosk. I tried to explain what happened. This time, he had seen me making the mistake and was laughing. You’re good to go, I actually just saw you making that turn and the uturn.  Have anice day.

We’ve certainly had a lot of experiences, in retrospect, many were indeed funny. I take border crossings very seriously as I understand the border agents have a serious job to do. I do appreciate what they do for us. I just have to stop being a chatty cathy as my lawyer told in discovery session. Biggest takeaway, just answer the question no matter what.